抒情闲谈 #22
June 30, 2011 at 11:10 pm | Posted in 抒情闲谈 | Leave a comment
Everyday, I walk out of camp all the way to Pioneer MRT Station just to see this arch. It reminds me of where I will be when I’m out of the hellhole place called SAF and gives me hope to go back to camp on the next day. This process repeats indefinitely. * forced chuckle*
Sorry guys, I just hate places that strips everything away , robbing my identity and my personality away from me. It makes every single day tiring and miserable. I’m not a wuss; people need to get that hating SAF and being a wuss are totally different things. Just because you’re a good person does not mean you’ll be a good soldier, vice versa. Not to mention it really doesn’t help when you’re in an office where a dozen people work because they’re forced to rather than because they’re dead enthusiastic about their job, and a warrant officer that turns the office into a live firing range by shooting people with her MATADOR. Takes a great toll on the office atmosphere, aye?
One day I took a small chat with the aircon technician while he was fixing the office aircon. When he saw my team leader and my superior, he said, ” I feel for you man. Both of them look like terrible people. : / “
All i could do to that reply was to give him a resigned smile. It’s like one of those smiles you see on really happy old people at that precise moment before they die. hmph. *forced smile*
抒情闲谈 #11
November 6, 2009 at 10:04 pm | Posted in lectures of life, 抒情闲谈 | Leave a comment
After the various onslaught of that I consider ridiculous endeavours to assimilate into the society, I took some time to think about what I consider and what I seek to uncover: The truth.
Sometimes, as I ponder what is the truth, I like to comment on how they all seem to have a common effect: They sear. The day you realise Santa Claus does not exist; the day you realise your family is a power struggle; they day you realise you are (not) alone; the day you realise she’s been treating you as merely ” a good friend” ( oh, I chuckled on this one, talk about the supposedly 2 r/s ladders of a girl)
As we continue to delve deeper onto the truth,we often see the bleaker aspects on life. I was reading a book on the adventures of Wisely a few weeks back, and one of the most striking things in the novel was the assumption of everyone that the act of aliens visiting Earth would spell the doomsday of humanity. What is important here is not whether aliens will invade us or not; rather, its the ability to accept the truth ( which is currently uncertain) that humans are not the most technologically advanced creature in the universe. What an obnoxious, arrogant race we all are.
As I find out more and more fragments of the truth; as they sear, or rather gash, my heart again and again as I continue to relentlessly pursue such an upstart, foolish aspect, I wonder how much more of a mental strength I need to absorb the world’s truth – the world’s pain. Talk about claiming to be emotionally hard. Ha!
3 years ago, I’d scoff at people cutting and performing self mutilation, claiming they are dumb and the likes. It ws this afternoon, that I realised why: Because I rather draw the pain to my hand and allow it to hurt than let the numbing, throbbing pain continue deep in my inner conscience that I can do nothing of.
Not that I’d try self mutilation though.
抒情闲谈 #7
July 22, 2009 at 10:03 pm | Posted in 抒情闲谈 | 1 Comment
考试中如此失败，自然是需要反省的。 难得三位老师斥责我，还不知该高兴有人关心我，还是要伤心自己考试成绩欠佳。
有时生路走多了，自然而然就会迷路。 想了许久，不知从何改进。 觉得走生路，倒不如走熟路。
有时人见多了，自然就会对人依依不舍。包袱放不下，又怎能在高手中前进？我的思想空间，不能被约束了。我的能力，不能被自己的无知铺盖住。
心中的恶魔，你也睡了够久了吧？
在着冰花雪地，四周野狼的残酷地带中， 我已近没有后路走了， 就算付出了他人，甚至同志的生命，鲜血和力量， 我也写出自己一篇血泪的诗章！
—–
沉暗的夜天，人们封印的千年古咒，已经被绝望与约束解开了！
—–
Invictus
William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbow’d.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
抒情闲谈#6
May 3, 2009 at 9:07 pm | Posted in 抒情闲谈 | 1 Comment
I’ve realised that it is impossible to write this faithful post with my ordinary persona and perception of thought, simply because my interior contruction has be crippled from the inside this time round, and I do not feel the reconstruction of my inner psyche is going to proceed fast enough.
Ihave no areas to talk about, but i want to talk. For once, I want to reach out for 5 seconds, and tell people,
“PLEASE SAVE ME”
solely because it is wilson controlling wilson now. Given any of my other personas, I know none of them will do so. They have been personally programmed by me to survive, and to deciminate. The most they might do is lose their cool; but it will take more than them to break down like that.
It’s weird to see how humans are actually so fragile. It’s funny to see how we can present so many facets of life onto this world.
I once throught I had many faces, until it dawned on me on one fine CHAMPS lesson.
” Many faces and mindsets, or perhaps none at all?”
抒情闲谈 #5
April 19, 2009 at 10:21 pm | Posted in 抒情闲谈 | Leave a comment
If there was one compelling lesson i would learn from the detailed analysis of ” The Kite Runner” by Khaled Hosseini, I would say it came from a line by Amir.
” Because the past claws its way out”
It’s interesting to see that 2 years later I would realize that I am still continually tormented by my past. That past that i tried to fervently forget would slowly,slowly claw its path out again, out of the iron fortress that I have locked it.
抒情闲谈 #4
March 20, 2009 at 1:14 am | Posted in 抒情闲谈 | Leave a comment
记得前几个月还跟远兮大哥闲聊，说什么首次测验要抢个AABB回家垫枕头。虽然不知他的状况如何( 当然不希望他比我惨咯!) , 但是本人知道自己嘛，视听失败的。
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