Mistilteinn – the wisdom of the mistletoes

抒情闲谈 # 33 — Recollections; Reflections; Resolutions.

August 28, 2011 at 12:37 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

( This is going to be bloody long; so please bear with me.)

 

 

 

 

 

I have no idea where I read a quote about Confucius, but I remembered it went like this :

“There are 3 ways to learn. To learn from reflection is the noblest. To learn from the experiences of others is the wisest; and to learn from your own mistakes is the bitterest.”

Many things have happened this year, and as I was approaching my own birthday, I started to think: with everyone starting to have a realistic vision of their own life, what should I do with mine? What have I left unresolved in the past years? What are the burdens that I had unconsciously carried on and on? What should I do now, to prepare for my own future?

2011 is not a very pleasant for me, because I was finally out of school. Some people are happy to be out of school, but I am not. Because when you are not sheltered in school, you get thrown into the harsh realities of life. You have to learn to manage your life, your contacts, your budget, your work and many other things like that. A lot of people don’t learn that, that is why nothing ever happens for them; they live their life saying they want X and Y, but they have no idea how to get them, or they are so overwhelmed by things in their life that they simply have no time to think about how their should work towards what they want, and the overwhelming carries on till they die. I do not want that.

2011 is a year of harsh realities. Everyone used to think that hard work would get us everywhere we wanted, until GP showed us otherwise. Still, at 16, when I was young, dumb and full of cum, I rejected that notion and still childishly believed that. When the distance between me and others started to get longer and longer over time, I’d horrendously realize how working hard simply doesn’t work when people have a better set of cards: inherent capacity, resources that were properly utilized, networks. It is simple not possible to win people like them in a fair fight. In 2010, I was stuck in a rut like that, which perhaps did trickle down to the trash results in the As.

I took a read at Kiyosaki’s ” Rich Dad, Poor Dad” recently, and thought back into the past experiences in the past 12 years. Of course, I still have no answer to it. But I realised that the first step to getting out of the situation, is to amass what I did not have. Even if I would be 40,50 and those resources that I had built up would no longer be useful to me by then, at least I could pass it off to my son or my daughter; the foundations that I have built up would be their pillar for their own legacy. Even if I could not create my own legacy, I cannot dash the hopes of my children who might want to, and I will do what I can for them to create their own story.

I am inferior to a lot more people in terms of capabilities, and despite being very prideful about my abilities, I cannot deny that I have seen so much more people with so much greater intellect, insight, innovation, foresight, fortitude and so on. In fact, I have seen so many with so much more powerful abilities that I never want to face them in a full out war later on in life if I can, classifying them as demons.  Yet, we are playing in this zero sum game, there will be a lot more of such people against you sooner or later. Rather than escaping, rather than doing what the chinese calls “掩耳盗铃”  what I must and should do, is to prepare for it. What I can only do, is to learn as much skills and expose myself to even more things as soon as possible, to make up for lost time and resources.

People often ask me, “why kill yourself learning driving so early? Why go out for stupid things? Why make yourself so busy instead of just wasting some time keeping your sanity? ” And I tell them ” I don’t have time.” I truly don’t. I don’t just want to look at my friends climbing to the top and being happy for them. I am selfless, but I am not noble. I cannot possibly be happy for someone without even looking at my own predicament.

I just want to win. Even against those demons.

I want to make it to their ranks as well.

I often preach shamelessly about how money is worth nothing, because it really is. It buys none of the most important things in life : trust; friendship; empathy; love; intellectual capacities; health. It is not omnipotent, yes, but it remains nevertheless all powerful on Earth. It’s easy to hire expensive tuition teachers, easy to go to a dozen different foreign country for more experiences, easy to go overseas to study flashy yet not very practical courses like archeology or forestry, easy to even build more wealth on top of your wealth. Money buys not a lot of things, but it goes a long way. The fact remains that one is crippled without money. That smart kid in Somalia will remain as a lowly despite how clever he might be, despite how he has the ability to become a doctor or a lawyer.

That is why I have to amass money in the shortest time possible.

My father used to be a businessman. Sadly, he was a fool. These two traits was a deadly combination. Despite being so crazed about entrepreneurship and sales, he would never seem to be able to make it. Not after reading all those books on the blue ocean strategy, on investment tips, and on self improvement. he lacked foresight, but that was not all.

He lacked time.

Because of such turbulent times the concept of business over the years has slowly been engraved into me as one that would deeply burn me later on in my life. That was why I actively refused to take economics in Year 5, and why I would continue on to refuse to take any forms of study relating to business or economics – be it biz, finance management or Information systems. The money is there, but I cannot possibly do it for half my life. Not after I have seen how it has destroyed my own father again and again.

 

But after graduating from RV, the importance of financial literacy began to sink in. I cannot accomplish every single thing without a significant amount of funds even as a 19 year old, and it is certain that i will continue to need even greater amount of funds 10 years down the future.

I have no choice but to turn back, and complete what my father had not done.

I have refused his own teachings and ideals for at least 10 years, and now I am walking on  the shadow of his footsteps again.

I sat down, and told him yesterday to lend me $3000. I would use any means possible to grow something out of this capital in one year, and if I couldn’t I would pay him off in a 20 month installment program of $200 per month. Unlike my peers who had more pay, what I had was more freedom and time, and I must capitalize on it. I have to. I cannot back down now.

I’ve always have a fascination with table games rather than video games, because unlike RPGs, there is a way to break table games. There is a way to analyze how to win. If you do it right, instead of “gambling”, it becomes ” taking a calculated risk to win.” People always thought mahjong was a luck based game, but if you take a closer look at it, you’d realise it is a very scary game of wits : tactics like suji, betaori, determining the winning hand by pond tiles alone, art of declaring kans and knowing the precise timing to throw useless tiles to minimise usage by others. And in the same manner this rule of exploitation works in a lot of table games. I have a friend who specialises in contract bridge and poker. He should know.

And with that, I will play my next game with all that I have. Because I cannot possibly lose this anymore.

For a while I was thinking of having a partner to ride this together, but I cannot risk it. Having one more people also means having greater risks in this game. I cannot drag someone into this unless they are competent and determined. In short, they’d have to be ingenious and mad.

I pray I will get out of the fx market alive.

2011 is a bittersweet year, and more importantly, a life changing year for many of us. We’re a part of RV, many of us will make it to the pinnacle of this world, despite subpar results, insufficient resources and stupid restrictions like that. In this year, I have horrendously crushed many friendships, and reinforced many others. Such is life. But my dedication to my friends, family and comrades remain simple. I like to look upon myself like a head servant. I am willing to sacrifice every single thing to whom I bother to acknowledge, and I will not hesitate to use any means to defend people I deem necessary.

And I implore people not to go over the line. Playing around with me is okay, but don’t play with my friends. I’ll freaking shred you to pieces.

I blew a candle yesterday.

My wish was to see such gatherings again and again for the next 10 years. It doesn’t matter who. 4F, 6C, my personal mates, or Hub West. And on a similar regard, I am happy and grateful to see how people I have offended severely coming to talk to me again. I am sorry for those whom I have hurt. I really am.

There will be a day where we realize that there are no eternal enemies, only eternal friends. We should all try to work towards that.

Thank you, everyone. Thank you, 4F for the cake and the wishes and the time. Thank you, Lynette and co who was singing the song over the phone at 12.30a.m. Thank you, Joshua Wong, for trying so hard to plan something out of the birthdays. Thank you Janice and Sophia for the nice day on my birthday. Thank you everyone, who was wishing me happy birthday on the phone or on facebook, even though I never really knew some of you guys well back then.

Many people are leaving at this period. and No matter how and where we are, I hope that we’ll all see each other 5 years later. I hope that when it comes, we will have fun and talk once again.

Thank you.

 

Wilson Ong

28/08/2011