抒情闲谈 #11
November 6, 2009 at 10:04 pm | In lectures of life, 抒情闲谈 | Leave a Comment
After the various onslaught of that I consider ridiculous endeavours to assimilate into the society, I took some time to think about what I consider and what I seek to uncover: The truth.
Sometimes, as I ponder what is the truth, I like to comment on how they all seem to have a common effect: They sear. The day you realise Santa Claus does not exist; the day you realise your family is a power struggle; they day you realise you are (not) alone; the day you realise she’s been treating you as merely ” a good friend” ( oh, I chuckled on this one, talk about the supposedly 2 r/s ladders of a girl)
As we continue to delve deeper onto the truth,we often see the bleaker aspects on life. I was reading a book on the adventures of Wisely a few weeks back, and one of the most striking things in the novel was the assumption of everyone that the act of aliens visiting Earth would spell the doomsday of humanity. What is important here is not whether aliens will invade us or not; rather, its the ability to accept the truth ( which is currently uncertain) that humans are not the most technologically advanced creature in the universe. What an obnoxious, arrogant race we all are.
As I find out more and more fragments of the truth; as they sear, or rather gash, my heart again and again as I continue to relentlessly pursue such an upstart, foolish aspect, I wonder how much more of a mental strength I need to absorb the world’s truth – the world’s pain. Talk about claiming to be emotionally hard. Ha!
3 years ago, I’d scoff at people cutting and performing self mutilation, claiming they are dumb and the likes. It ws this afternoon, that I realised why: Because I rather draw the pain to my hand and allow it to hurt than let the numbing, throbbing pain continue deep in my inner conscience that I can do nothing of.
Not that I’d try self mutilation though.
抒情闲谈 #10
September 3, 2009 at 10:32 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
I am the bone of my sword.
Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.
I have created over a thousand blades.
Unknown to Death.
Nor known to Life.
Have withstood pain to create many weapons.
Yet, those hands will never hold anything.
So, as I pray – “Unlimited Blade Works”.
抒情闲谈 #9
August 28, 2009 at 11:53 pm | In Uncategorized | 2 Comments
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
(No, i assure you. I don’t get a strawberry shortcake nor a blue haired cute girl to ogle at while eating cake.)
- Intermission #2 -
August 9, 2009 at 1:02 am | In retarded rantings / fillers | Leave a Comment
Eyes On Me
Vocal: Faye Wong
Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy
You’d always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar
My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Oh, did you ever know?
That I had mine on you
Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you’re never hurt
As if you’re never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer
So let me come to you
Close as I wanted to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you
Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you’re holding back
Or pain if that’s what it is
How can I let you know
I’m more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you’re not dreaming
Sometimes, We try so hard just to get something very simple…
抒情闲谈 #8
August 2, 2009 at 9:16 pm | In Uncategorized | 3 Comments
As I continued to do the integration questions, I got increasingly frustrated at myself for how I never get the correct answer one after another. At that very point, I was teaching people about Sec4 Organic Chemistry, which i did it so effortlessly as though I was eating hazelnut chocolates ( Interestingly,hazelnut goes better with chocolates than almonds, cashews, Raisins or Macademias)
It was suddenly at that point where i felt the sense of ….. darkness.
What will happen if I couldn’t get calculus right? What about Chemistry and Biology then? What about Literature then?
I took a look at some of the blogs of the senpais and peers, they’re always esoterically filled with happy events and interesting posts.
It struck me too see how they are coping so well, It’s as if they’re dealing with it as easy as eating hazelnut chocolates.
And here I am, struggling with the basics. Here I am.
Sometimes I wonder if I am overrating myself, If my aim of Imperial was all talk and bull, If i can even survive. If I’m just another sacrifice of the world like Angie and Joyce.
All of a sudden, I feel so alone and helpless that I can feel my heart crying. I get this impression I may need to see a doctor in woodbridge soon.
Soon, I think I’ll start feeling the tears on my eyes too, instead of my heart. It’s shameful to see how the one who used to call himself the emperor to fall into such a muddy swamp just trying to even stay afloat. It really is…saddening.
When you’re disempowered, you start to wonder if you can even win fate and its never ending cycle of eugenics and culture capital in the first place.
Poetry #8 – Literature Anthology
July 30, 2009 at 11:11 pm | In literary masterpieces | 3 Comments
Literature Anthology
They say
My book used to be a portal;
whizzing people off to distant lands.
My book used to be an archive;
detailing the valiant stories of countless heroes.
My Book used to be a storage
of the most deadly yet graceful weapons on Earth.
My book used to be human;
showing pain, anguish and disgust.
Yet now
My book is but a cemetery;
A place to bury laments and dreams.
My book is but a textbook;
disgusing opinions to cold, hard facts.
My book is but a weapon,
impaling through my warm blood and pulsating heart.
My book is but a horcrux,
that carries a mere fragment of the soul still left in me.
©2009 W.S Ong. All rights Reserved.
抒情闲谈 #7
July 22, 2009 at 10:03 pm | In 抒情闲谈 | 1 Comment
考试中如此失败，自然是需要反省的。 难得三位老师斥责我，还不知该高兴有人关心我，还是要伤心自己考试成绩欠佳。
有时生路走多了，自然而然就会迷路。 想了许久，不知从何改进。 觉得走生路，倒不如走熟路。
有时人见多了，自然就会对人依依不舍。包袱放不下，又怎能在高手中前进？我的思想空间，不能被约束了。我的能力，不能被自己的无知铺盖住。
心中的恶魔，你也睡了够久了吧？
在着冰花雪地，四周野狼的残酷地带中， 我已近没有后路走了， 就算付出了他人，甚至同志的生命，鲜血和力量， 我也写出自己一篇血泪的诗章！
—–
沉暗的夜天，人们封印的千年古咒，已经被绝望与约束解开了！
—–
Invictus
William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbow’d.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
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